Everything they didn't
tell you in school.
Honest, current-market guide to buying your first home. What actually costs what, what's negotiable, what to skip. No signup needed.
The 8 stages of buying your first home
Get pre-qualified, then pre-approved
Pre-qualification is a 10-minute conversation. Pre-approval is a written commitment after the lender pulls your credit + verifies income. Get pre-approved before serious shopping, not after. Sellers don't take an offer seriously without a pre-approval letter.
Shop 3+ lenders. Rate differences of 0.25% compound to $15-30K over a 30-year loan. The lender your agent recommends might be the best — or might not be. Compare independently.
Define what you actually want (vs what you think you want)
Most first-time buyers come in with a checklist that's emotionally weighted, not practically weighted. Walkability to what? School zone for which schools? "Move-in ready" vs "needs work" — be honest about which one your skills + bandwidth will tolerate. Read REHL's neighborhood guides for the markets you're considering; the honest takes on tradeoffs there are the same conversations the best agents have with first-timers.
Pick a buyer's agent (the right one)
Don't go with the first agent who returns your call. Interview 2-3. Ask about: how many first-time buyers they closed last year, their response time, how they handle inspection contingencies, what they think of the lender you picked. The right agent saves you 10x their commission in negotiations + advice + speed; the wrong one costs you the same.
See properties — but limit to ~15-20 max
More than 20 active showings and you'll have shopper fatigue + start making bad comparisons. Better to look at 10-15 well-chosen properties + offer on one, then iterate, than visit 50 + lose your conviction about what you actually want. Saved-search alerts on the MLS + REHL listings (once live) help you stay current without shopping in person.
Make an offer (and negotiate the right things)
Price is the obvious lever. Less obvious + often more impactful: closing date flexibility, repair credit allowances, seller-paid closing costs (if you're short on cash), home warranty inclusion, fixture-and-appliance disposition, rate buy-down (rare but worth asking about in soft markets).
In competitive markets: a clean offer (no contingencies waived except as your agent specifically advises) wins more often than a price-stretched offer with risk concentrated in waived contingencies. The 2021-22 era of waiving everything ended badly for a lot of buyers.
Inspection — use the full window
The inspection window (typically 7-15 days) is your only legal exit if you discover serious issues. Use ALL of it. Get specialty inspections where warranted: roof + HVAC + pest in the Southeast; radon in older homes; lead in pre-1980 properties; wind mitigation on coastal FL; septic + well on rural properties. Don't skip anything because the seller seems nice. The seller's niceness doesn't fix the 35-year-old roof.
Lock your rate at the right moment
Rate-lock windows are typically 30-60 days. Lock when you're under contract + inspection contingency cleared (so you're confident in closing). Floating the rate during contract review + inspection costs you if rates rise meaningfully. Most lenders offer free re-lock if rates DROP materially during your window — ask about this explicitly.
Close, then plan your first 90 days of ownership
Closing day: bring the wire-receipt confirmation, ID, certified check if needed. After closing: change locks (always), HVAC service + filter, install/test smoke detectors + CO detectors, update utility accounts, file homestead exemption (within 90 days in most states — saves real money), schedule a 60-day-post-close walk-through with anyone who did pre-close repairs.
FAQ
Quick answers.
How much do I need saved before I start shopping for a home?
Three categories of cash: down payment (3-20% of price; FHA can go to 3.5%), closing costs (2-5% of price, state-dependent), and 3-6 months of reserves the lender wants to see after closing. For a $400K home that's roughly $20-100K total cash needed depending on loan type + state. Run the closing-cost calculator and affordability calculator with your specific numbers.
What's the difference between pre-qualification and pre-approval?
Pre-qualification is a soft estimate based on what you tell the lender. Pre-approval is a written commitment after the lender pulls your credit, verifies income, and runs underwriting. Sellers take pre-approvals seriously; pre-quals less so. Get pre-approved before serious shopping — most listing agents won't take an offer seriously without one.
Should I use the same lender my agent recommends?
Always shop. Get quotes from 3+ lenders, including at least one direct lender (bank or credit union) and one mortgage broker. Rate differences of 0.25-0.5% on a 30-year mortgage compound to $20-40K over the loan's life. The agent's relationship lender is sometimes the best, sometimes not — verify with comparison quotes.
Is a 30-year fixed always the right call?
Usually yes for first-time buyers, but not always. A 15-year fixed builds equity faster but doubles your monthly payment. A 7/1 ARM is cheaper for 7 years then floats — fine if you'll definitely sell or refi by year 7. A 30-year fixed is the default 'no surprises' choice.
What inspections should I get?
Standard home inspection ($350-700) — non-negotiable. Pest/termite inspection ($75-150) — non-negotiable in the Southeast. Specialized inspections (radon, mold, septic, well, asbestos, lead-based paint) depending on the property. For older homes (pre-1980): always lead. For coastal homes: always wind mitigation. The inspection contingency window is usually 7-15 days; use all of it.
What's negotiable at closing?
Repair credits based on inspection findings (almost always). Closing-cost credits from the seller (sometimes). Closing date (often). Including/excluding specific appliances or fixtures (sometimes). Home warranty paid by seller (often, in soft markets). Rate buy-downs by the seller (negotiable but uncommon).
Should I waive the inspection contingency?
Almost never as a first-time buyer. The competitive-bidding waiving-everything pattern that was common 2021-22 burned a lot of buyers. The inspection window is your only legal exit if you discover serious issues. Waiving it costs you that exit and rarely improves your offer position enough to be worth the risk.
How long does the process take from offer to closing?
Typical purchase: 30-45 days from accepted offer to closing. Cash purchases can close in 14 days. Financed purchases hit milestones at days 5 (loan estimate), days 7-15 (inspection), days 21-30 (appraisal), days 30-40 (clear-to-close), and day 45-ish (closing). Each milestone has its own potential delay vector.
Start with a pre-qualification
The single most useful first step. A REHL-vetted lender will tell you what you actually qualify for + how much cash you need at the closing table.